City Connection
PUBLISHER: Jaleco
DEVELOPER: Jaleco (port by TOSE)
RELEASE DATE: Sept. 27th, 1985 (JP), May 1988 (US)
“Paint the town white,” as the saying goes…
Wait a minute. That’s not a saying at all. City Connection lied to me!
Yes, City Connection is full of sins, starting with the game’s main character and his freewheeling lifestyle. Turns out, the nameless person we control is a paint store robber. He’s stolen so many gallons of paint that it’s leaking out of his car and onto the highway of every major city around the world. Perhaps he should… ya know… go back to his secret hideout and off load the precious cargo? No! That would be too easy! Better to just continue the chaotic hijinks and paint every roadway white.
Along the way, our villain is chased by all the cops. Even though the paint thief feels the walls closing in on him, he decides to really seal his fate by shooting oil cans at the cops chasing him. No matter how many oil cans he collects and shoots, he just can’t seem to get rid of them all. No conscience, this one. But don’t worry. If he happens to hit a cop car with his car, his car (and presumably himself) explodes into several sharp pieces, thereby forgoing the need for a long, tedious trial and saving the taxpayers of the world millions of dollars. Justice always prevails.
Every city you drive in, whether London, Paris, New York, etc., has a three-tiered highway that must be completely painted white before you can move on to the next area. In your way are cops, large rock formations, and cats holding flags. The cops and rocks will just shatter your car, while hitting the cat is a severe moral failing for which you will lose a life, despite your car being completely fine. Also, the cats kinda look like shriveled babies, which is quite disturbing. You can collect up to three balloons, which will both give you a points bonus and warp you to another city to commit more mischief. But sans balloons, paint whatever city you’re in, and do it now, you cold-blooded criminal.
If all that sounds absurd, well, that’s because City Connection was originally an arcade game from the mid-80s. All arcade titles were a bit mad back then, let’s be honest. Strangely, though, this whole “criminal raids Home Depot, makes off with millions of paint cans” story does not hail from the arcade original. In the latter, you play as a young woman named Clarice and your mission is to find the perfect man somewhere around the world. Cops are chasing her for some reason and instead of painting the streets white, she’s now painting them green, also for some reason, perhaps for True Love.
Does Clarice find the perfect man? Does she figure out why her car is leaking antifreeze all over the world? I skimmed a complete run of City Connection arcade on YouTube and I didn’t see evidence of either. That being said, I’d like to think that our paint-loving ne’er-do-well might be the man to steal her heart, should their insane paths ever collide. We can only hope.
ALSO AVAILABLE ON: If you want to play the NES version, it’s available on the Nintendo Switch Online NES app. But if you want to play the arcade version, you can find that via Arcade Archives on both PS4 and Nintendo Switch.
Other May 1988 Releases
MAZE HUNTER 3-D (Sega Master System)
The poor Master System never quite found its footing here in the United States, but would sell well in Europe and Brazil, of all countries.
Maze Hunter 3-D is one of the handful of games released that was compatible with the console’s 3D Glasses peripheral. In it, you hit enemies, search for keys, then make your way to the exit. The game itself isn’t anything special by itself (I reviewed it long ago for my Sega blog), but it’s one of the better 3D games on the Master System.
PARLOUR GAMES (Sega Master System)
Will you play pool, throw darts, or skip down to the bingo hall with Grandma? Those are your three gaming options in Sega’s Parlour Games. Not sure where the makeshift Playboy bunnies come in, to be honest, but Sega does what Nintendon’t, always.
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Master System games on Nintendo Is Great? Some people just have no shame anymore
This looks one of those games I'd see for £2 Ebay, throw it in my basket on impulse while buying something else and then get addicted to it for a week
I choose to believe that the backstory to City Connection is that the driver got upset that the city would never repaint the highway lines and suffered a psychotic break over it worthy of a Batman villain. If they weren't going to repaint the lines, he would. He would repaint everything!