Metroid Rapid Fire, Little Kid Dad Jokes, and NES Accessibility Controllers
More Fun Club News Vol. 4
The following is Part 2 of our look at Nintendo Fun Club News Vol. 4.
To read Part 1, please click on the link below.
Until this very moment, I had no idea you could rapid fire in Metroid, albeit with an awkward control scheme. Still! Rapid fire! In Metroid! How have I never heard of this before?!
Walldoors was one word back in the ‘80s.
Three of the four jokes featured on this page are hardcore dad jokes. Gen-Xers were definitely gearing up for the moment when they’d become fathers.
The “heart burn” joke is cute, but why would “Fiery Mario” get heart burn if he ate another fire flower? Make him “Super Mario” instead of “Fiery” and you have a winner.
Don’t believe the “Hot Hits From SNK!” hype. These games range from terrible to mediocre.
SNK wouldn’t hit their stride on the NES until a couple years later.
As the Nintendo Fun Club News later morphed into Nintendo Power, this beloved column would stick around and expand. Can’t argue with any of these choices, although I imagine Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! might kick Pro Wrestling off of the Top 5 in the next issue.
“Let’s get to the point.” Brad Wallace from Paris, Texas isn’t screwin’ around. His Super Mario Bros. review is sound. “I have had this game for one year and still enjoy it. In my opinion, the game gets ten stars.” I definitely share Brad’s opinion. I’ve had the game for 36 years now, and I still think it deserves ten stars.
Honestly, all these reviews are great, although the Kid Icarus one sounds more like a press release than a review.
I tried finding footage of two-year-old Nash Day’s astounding Super Mario Bros. feats (he made national television!), but alas, YouTube does not have any clip. Kudos to all these kids for beating Ganon before they even hit double-digits. Our best and brightest, no question.
Alright, we’ve got new merch in this issue! The Official Nintendo Player’s Guide is a must-have for NES games released before 1988, and at $11.99 ($33.93 in 2025 money), it’s a steal.
The watch and binoculars are also fascinating. I may have found the watch on eBay, but the seller says his is from the N64 era. What do you guys think?
I couldn’t find the red binoculars on eBay, although apparently Nintendo put out multiple N64 binoculars out, as well? Does anyone remember these?
I had no idea you could input the Konami code at the beginning of each stage in Gradius to get the Shield and both options?! Talk about a rage soother. Once again, I feel like a Nintendo fraud for not knowing such critical information.
Forty years later and I still want Howard Phillips’ job. What a sweet gig!
Lode Runner better not turn on my Nintendo, in any way, shape, or form.
Also, the video rap reminds me of this bizarre Zelda commercial. I’m pretty sure I’ve posted this in some other article, but it’s always great to hear/watch it again.
The “Hands-Free” controller apparently did receive a limited release in 1989. According to a 2009 Kotaku article by Luke Plunkett, “The Hands Free was released in 1989, and even back then cost a ton, retailing for $179 (with a NES) or $120 (for just the Hands Free).”
Today, it’s so rare, that used ones often go for $1000 or more on eBay.
Here’s a picture of one that sold at a recent auction. To look at more pictures, click this link.
What a fascinating device. I know these are rare, but I wonder if they worked well? If you or anyone you know ever used one of these, please let me know in the comments below!
Man, these cryptograms are too smart for me. Get two-year-old Nash Day on these, stat!
One of these games is not like the other.
I can not stress this enough. If you want to play the NES on a regular basis, find a working NES Advantage on eBay. It is a fantastic controller that won’t give you “Nintendo thumb.”
Thanks for joining me as I look back into the past! So many curious Nintendo oddities, codes, and tchotchkes that are all but lost to time.
What was your favorite part of this issue? Let me know in the comments below!
These are always fun. On that Gradius tip: first of all, I didn't know about that secret either. What was the first NES game with a "cheat code", I wonder? But the age of seeking out and learning cheat codes is truly a part of gaming history that came and went. This probably peaked with the rumor of a "boss code" in the original SF2 for SNES. For a few years, EGM would use its April issue to promote a fake cheat code.
But I also think it's funny in this issue that when a kid asks the grown-ups for advice on the game, the immediate response is "Alright kid, let me teach you how to cheat." No need to even mention the fundamentals!