Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!! is a Welcome KO to the NES Library
NES Catalog #074-76
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Alpha Mission
PUBLISHER/DEVELOPER: SNK
RELEASE DATE: Sept. 3rd, 1986 (JP), Oct. 1987 (US), Apr. 22nd, 1989 (EU)
ALSO AVAILABLE ON: Arcade, Switch (via Arcade Archives), PlayStation 4 (via Arcade Archives), PSP
Alpha Mission is brought to you by the letters ‘S,’ ‘L,’ ‘M,’ and… backwards ‘K’?! Clearly, something is awry in the Tetranova galaxy.
You play as SYD, a spacecraft charged with keeping other jerk spacecrafts known as the Seven Stars Alliance away from Earth. At first, this vertical rail shooter plays like any other. Enemies drop down towards you, usually in a line, and you shoot as many as you can before they fly away. Missiles equipped under your ship can destroy ground cannons and pyramids that reveal power-ups in the form of letters.
The letters are mostly self-explanatory: ‘S,’ ‘L,’ and ‘M’ increase your speed and laser/missile strength accordingly, while outliers like ‘E’ increase your energy. Energy is used to buy special heavy-duty weapons that are only available for as long as the energy in your E Meter lasts.
And then there are the evil letters, backwards sons of terror that only hinder SYD’s progress. Backwards ‘K’ removes any upgrades, while backwards ‘E’ decreases your energy by four units. Not to be outdone by their backwards brethren, the letters ‘R’ and ‘C’ also rebelled from the rest of the holy alphabet. ‘R’ warps you backwards three whole stages, while ‘C’ immediately drains all your energy and power. Disgraceful.
Your time in Alpha Mission will be spent destroying pyramids, finding as many upgrades as you can, and avoiding the downgrades. The dive-bombing star fleet enemies feel like an afterthought, unless you’re aiming for a high score. The bosses can be challenging if you don’t have the right special weapon equipped, but once you know their weaknesses, they too will go down without much trouble.
Space shooters hadn’t yet overrun the NES in 1987, so Alpha Mission’s presence was welcome upon release. In modern times, however, its basic shooting is only slightly elevated by those wicked letters.
Lunar Pool
PUBLISHER: FCI
DEVELOPER: Compile
RELEASE DATE: Dec. 5th, 1985 (JP), Oct. 1987 (US), 1987 (EU)
ALSO AVAILABLE ON: MSX, NEC PC88, Wii Virtual Console
Lunar Pool is billiards in space, a freaky, psychedelic trip to the stars with sixty curiously designed pool tables.
The game starts, not in space, but on the menu screen. Choose your table (start at table 60 if you want, no one will stop you), your opponent (should you desire – you can also play solo), and your friction.
The higher the friction, the slower the balls roll. The friction is set to 32 every time you reset the game, and unless you want to see how challenging you can make the game, 32 is where it should stay. Turn the friction to 0, however, and the balls will never stop rolling, which is both hilarious and very space-y.
Pool in space is mostly seven-ball. Narrow tables are actually six-ball, and with the cue-ball as a seventh, there’s just not enough room on the tables for more. But that’s ok, because Lunar Pool has the best pool mechanics of any billiards title on the NES.
Lining up your shot feels effortless, even if you’ve never played pool in your life. The power meter is easy to understand, and shots never feel too powerful or too slight. With the friction on default, the balls glide around the table an appropriate amount when you hit them; you never feel like they’re somehow avoiding the pockets. Perfect for amateurs and experts alike.
The 80s are in full swing. Duran Duran plays loudly in the background while you and your androgynous life partner sip otherworldly beverages from awkward glasses. Pool tables of all shapes and sizes surround you both, along with multiple Others who can’t get enough cue sticks and billiard balls. Major Tom (whoever he is) is correct: space pool really is the best pool.
Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!
PUBLISHER/DEVELOPER: Nintendo
RELEASE DATE: Oct. 1987 (US), Nov. 21st, 1987 (JP), Dec. 15th, 1987 (EU)
ALSO AVAILABLE ON: Later rebranded as Punch-Out!! in August 1990 in the US and EU territories, the Mike Tyson-less version would see re-releases on the Wii, 3DS, and Wii U Virtual Console stores, and the Nintendo Switch Online service.
Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! puts you in the role of the ultimate underdog, Little Mac. An amateur boxer from the Bronx with a passionate heart and a fiery right hook, Little Mac takes on men ten times his size. Men like King Hippo, Soda Popinski, and if he can endure until the end, Iron Mike Tyson, the fastest, hardest-hitting boxer on the planet circa 1987.
But how does Mac fight? What he lacks in strength, he makes up for in speed, stamina, and determination. Mac has the keen ability to see when his opponent is about to hit him. As he dodges their attacks, he learns their weak points. When the time is right, he attacks ruthlessly until they’re able to defend themselves again, then he scales back. He doesn’t want to waste his own energy simply hitting their gloves.
Occasionally, a solid, unexpected hit will get Little Mac a star. This star allows Mac to pull off the STAR Punch, his signature uppercut move that completely drains the health of the opponent. The more STAR Punches Mac can use against his opponents, the quicker the fight will go.
Everyone loves a good underdog story. The young, inexperienced, but hungry fighter who never gives up even when everyone tells him he should. Quitting just isn’t in his DNA. So it is with Little Mac – and you.
What are you supposed to be fighting for? What challenges are you called to overcome?
Little Mac is driven to box. He can’t explain why, but the desire just surges from him in a place deep within. We all have something like that. Usually, we put those desires away, become adults, boring, complacent, safe. Screw that.
Fight for your dreams. Fight Mike Tyson. Lose. Fight him again. Lose. Fight him seventeen more times. Lose all day.
Fight him when you think you can’t possibly try any more. When you look at Mike Tyson and see all the giants in your life, all the times when you let huge bastard situations knock you down to “little” status. Fight him, because giving in means giving up, and you’re not giving up. Not today.
It is a huge shame I didn't know about Lunar Pool back in my NES days. I would have loved it.
Punch-Out: good write-up. Absolute classic, timeless game. For some reason the NES version has never been topped even if later iterations had their strengths. I even tried to get into some games like that Wade Hixton thing on GBA. Perfectly fine game, but it doesn't have that Punch-Out magic that's just pure lightning in a bottle.
Never played the other two games. Alpha Mission's cover seems like the kind of thing I could stare at as a kid for 30 minutes and not get bored. But I don't recall ever seeing it.
Lunar Pool's cover though, I do remember seeing as a kid, and I HATE, HATE, HATED it. Even as a small child, I remember always having a strong disgust response towards androgyny. Not based on any particular experience, just always felt that way. Maybe that's a lot to unpack, probably says something about my personality.