Nintendo is Great is a Substack devoted to exploring the world of Nintendo - their games, their consoles, their merchandise - in mostly chronological order, starting with the NES and continuing to the upcoming Switch 2.
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My Switch 2 Dilemma Potentially Solved
For those of you who read last week’s post, you know I’ve been on the fence about whether to invest in a Switch 2 + peripherals + Mario Kart World.
Well, I’ve reached a conclusion.
See, right after the Nintendo Direct on April 2nd, I registered on Nintendo’s webpage to potentially pre-order a Switch 2 from Nintendo themselves.
I met all their requirements: I had a Nintendo Switch Online membership for a minimum of 12 months and I had logged at least 50 gameplay hours in by April 2nd, 2025. Also, I registered directly after the, er, Direct.
Starting May 8th, 2025, Nintendo will be sending out invitations to purchase Switch 2 directly from them, with the caveat that they might not be able to send the system to those who purchase from them on exactly on the launch date.
If Nintendo sends me an invite, I will purchase the system from them directly. If they don’t, I will get one later this year, hopefully before any potential tariff price increases.
I’d love to have the Switch 2 on or close to launch, but I’m not going to be constantly updating Target or Walmart’s webpage every day just to get one. Too old for that noise.
So! This is my Switch 2 update.
Thanks for all those who chimed in with comments on the last post, your feedback was most appreciated.
Alright, on with the “totally not coming to Switch 2” NES game selection!
Sqoon
PUBLISHER: Irem
DEVELOPER: Home Data
RELEASE DATE: June 26th, 1986 (JP), Sept. 1987 (US)
Sqoon plays by its own rules. This isn’t some common space-themed shoot-em-up, the kind you’d find in any ol’ trashcan. Sqoon is a pink submarine on an around-the-world voyage under all the seas, ready to save as many folks as he can from the evil Neptunians. Something like that. During a time when most games’ stories were a couple sentences in the instruction manual, Sqoon’s story is an insane three pages. Irem’s committed to their lore, no question.
Sqoon starts in New York, equipped with missiles that shoot straight ahead and ice bombs that take care of ground enemies. At first, you’re shooting the Neptunian brigade that come at you, like you would any shoot-em-up. But then you notice your fuel supply is getting lower with each passing second.
As you move forward, you see strange vertical monuments on the seabed, along with factories clogging up the sea’s precious pores. Destroy them, and people will fly out of the ruins. Collect nine people and a motorized island appears above the water’s surface where you can drop them off. You’ll be rewarded with a weapons upgrade and a fuel topoff.
Keep in mind, though, that while you’re gathering people, you still have to shoot the waves of alien marine jerks trying to kill you. Sharks in particular are everywhere. They don’t hurt Sqoon, but they’ll happily munch on any humans you fail to collect. Crabs also follow you along the seabed, but if you shoot them, they’ll drop some gold. The gold calls the motorized island, and for the price of gold and a human hostage, you’ll get some more fuel.
Most shoot-em-ups just bombard you with enemies and call it a game. With the need to rescue people to survive, Sqoon adds a layer of welcome strategy to an otherwise standard shooting exercise.
Stadium Events
PUBLISHER: Bandai
DEVELOPER: Human Entertainment
RELEASE DATE: Dec. 23rd, 1986 (JP), Sept. 1987 (US), Aug. 1988 (US - World Class Track Meet), 1988 (EU)
Stadium Events would be just another unassuming track-and-field game if it wasn’t one of the rarest NES games of all time.
Shortly after Stadium Events’ release in 1987, Nintendo purchased the rights to both the game and Bandai’s Family Fun Fitness Pad (see: Athletic World), the accessory required to play the game. Stadium Events and the Pad were immediately recalled, and since the former didn’t sell well (between two and ten thousand copies, according to most sources), it’s become a collector’s holy grail ever since.
In 1988, Nintendo re-released both Stadium Events and the pad under different names: World Class Track Meet and the Power Pad, respectively. While the Power Pad received a moderate visual overhaul, World Class Track Meet is just Stadium Events with a modified title screen.
Whatever name you call it, the game itself is just four events, repeated until your legs are proper jello.
“100M Dash” is a mad dash to the finish line against a weak opponent.
“Long Jump” is a little trickier. Race to the white line, then jump as high as you can before landing back on the Power Pad.
The “110M Hurdles” is the “100M Dash” with jumping involved, and you’ll be lucky if the Pad picks up half your jumps.
The “Triple Jump” is the most difficult. Like “Long Jump,” you race to the white line and small jump before you reach it. Small jump again after you land from the first jump, then leap into the air and land for your score.
Stadium Events is a moderately entertaining tech demo designed to showcase a peripheral. If you’re looking for a fuller experience with the Power Pad that involves more than running in place, check out Athletic World. The events have more variety, and you’ll still be out of breath by the time you’re finished.
Star Voyager
PUBLISHER: Acclaim
DEVELOPER: Ascii Entertainment
RELEASE DATE: Dec. 23rd, 1986 (JP), Sept. 1987 (US)
Star Voyager gives you a spaceship and says, go on, get out of here. Save the day already. But this isn’t some common space shooter, bred for the masses. Star Voyager is a simulation game, and it’s confusing, frustrating, and disorienting. Anything but enjoyable.
You’re the last hope for the people of CosmoStation Noah. After years of training, you were hand-picked as the finest warrior, the only one who can liberate your people from the Molok Wardrivers.
In theory, you control the RH 119, a powerful spaceship capable of laser fire, shields, life support, and a supercomputer named Adam. In practice, you steer the RH 119 around for awhile, looking for something to do, wondering how your years of training led you to this very boring series of moments.
Two screens occupy your existence, the main screen that looks out into space and an information screen with a map readout and a damage blueprint of your ship. The main screen has plenty of bells and whistles, including a warp meter, your fuel crystal supply, and a compass. The map readout shows you where your ship is, along with other potential threats like enemies, black holes, and asteroid belts. Peaceful planets and space stations are also scattered about, some of which include people who’ll provide ship upgrades.
But what do you do in Star Voyager? The goal is to take out the Molok Wardrivers, save CosmoStation Noah. Sounds simple, but there’s a lot of wandering in space, hoping to run into some sort of excitement. Warping is important, but it’s also finicky. If you don’t warp exactly as the instruction manual describes (a multi-step process), you might find yourself stranded, far from your original destination.
The space setting that Star Voyager presents is relaxing, in its way. But the game delights in atmosphere at the expense of actual gameplay.
One Last Thing
These three games are the first crop I’ve had where every single game wasn’t either an arcade port or also got an arcade release.
In other words, these are three NES originals, something we’ll be seeing more and more of as we sojourn deeper into the console’s catalog.
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Sqoon reminds me a lot of Seaquest, another submarine game for the Atari 2600 I showcased. I wonder how many other submarine shooters there are. It seems to be an untapped genre.
https://daysoffictionpast.substack.com/p/sharks-and-submarines-a-review-of
Star Voyager seems like Elite but somehow even more boring and tedious, a true technical achievement for the NES.